Here i go again feeling so angry and being short temper! GOSH i dont know whats the matter with me, theres a time that i just wanna be alone but when im alone i feel like im gonna go crazy. I promise myself that i would never let anyone make me feel this way but i dont know i guess im just not so strong that i thought i was! theres just something in me that its unsolve that been waiting for me to figure it out how to solve it but i just cant seem to find the answer to it.
Why cant i just be happy for what i have in my life right now i guess god made my life to be like this, but i wanna be made i wanna change and everytime i found someone who can i think can help me out seem to be the one whos making it worse and i dont know why im letting them. I am to nice enough to not find the happyness in life.
Sometimes i just think that i can never be happy no more after what ive been through i dont think i can handdle another single painful feelings deep inside me. i want to give up but something telling me to keep pushing and i'll get through this, but fuck when i want it to stop i cant handle it no more.
I;m to young to feel so much pain in life im fucking 19 years old but my whole entire life has been a mess! my friends look up to me and always see's me smiling and happy but what dont they know that their life is way better than mine, i just cant take the fact that im happy outside but when you look inside its just cold and dark.
I guess my life is just unsolve and shouldnt be solve at this momment, i understand that everything takes time but we will see if i can last till then. I'll be looking up and walk straight like nothings wrong with me i mean thats what i do every single day and i turn out to be fine, just that once in a while i feel empty inside me grrrr which i hate the most.
to be continue........
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